The Hottest Alien Babes of Film and TV

The Hottest Alien Babes of Film and TV

Posted by Razen on December 03, 2006.

There’s nothing like a good sci-fi flick to really capture a guy’s attention. The spaceships…the laser guns…. the distant worlds full of adventure…and those saucy alien chicks in miniskirts whose morals seem looser than William Shatner’s toupee.

But golly gee, there’s so much alien hotness to choose from. How do you decide which babe with green skin is worth your time? Well rest easy fellow space traveler, I’ve done the hard work for you. Allow me to present you with a list guaranteed to appeal to the Buck Rogers in all of us.

10. Andrea the Android from Star Trek (the original series)
“No... Not programmed for you!”

Lets start the list off with a little mechanical geisha action, shall we? The original Star Trek was filled with beautiful women but the android from this episode takes top prize in the category of Kirk bait. Decked out in a space bikini and filled with less brains than a tribble, Andrea was the epitome of a “pleasure unit.” At first Kirk does the upright and uptight Captain bit around her but he soon figures out that android loving is better than no loving at all.

Andrea claims she’s “not programmed” for Kirk but he proves her wrong by doing a quick system reboot with his tongue. She acts all confused but under her cold rubber skin you know her mechanical heart pumps oil only for our Captain. Oh Andrea…If only they’ve gone down the same route as you when casting Data on The Next Generation

9. Leeloo from the film The Fifth Element
“Mul-ti-pass!”

Those aliens sure were smart when they packaged the supreme weapon against pure evil into a form as hot as Leeloo. But there’s nothing in the manual that says weapons of mass destruction have to be boring to look at is there? Heck, even after she’s grown in a laboratory the scientists are careful to keep the hot level at 10 by giving her some ace bandages for clothes. Later on Jean-Paul Gaultier makes her wear Jamie Lee Curtis’s outfit from “Perfect” but it’s ok, she still looks great in it.

Throughout most of the film Leeloo displays the verbal skills of a chimp by speaking something called the “Divine Language” but for most guys that’s just another turn on. There’s evidently some big plot in the movie about Leeloo saving earth but all I can remember is the action scenes where she kicks the ass of some of those pig guards from the Return of the Jedi.

8. Stella Star from the film Starcrash
"Go for hyperspace!"

Now the Italians really knew how to make a sci-fi film back in the 70s. None of this boring Wookies, stormtroopers, or talking robots stuff from the masters of the spaghetti western. They went straight to the heart of any quality science fiction… a chick in a sexy black bikini and thigh high boots.

There’s not a whole lot of plot or special effects to get in the way of showing Stella jiggling around like a chicken on a hotplate. At various points for no reason she gets captured by the galactic police, chased down by Amazons, and even frozen in a block of ice but the resourceful Stella always manages to escape and bring her…er, “talents” back to the front of the screen. For some ungodly reason David Hasselhoff is in this thing with the biggest hair in his life but seeing him have a lightsaber battle with robots makes it all worthwhile.

7. Pris from the film Blade Runner
“A basic pleasure model. The standard item for military clubs in the outer colonies.”

I know what you’re thinking; “We’ve already had an android on the list.” Well don’t look a gift robot in the mouth, buddy. Plus Pris is way more limber than those other stock unit androids. She’s the Cathy Lee Rigby of synthetics and when her temper gets going you just better hope she doesn’t plan on using you as a springboard.

But most of the time Pris is just your average factory built hunk of love that’s just looking for a longer life from her creator. Her hobbies include punching out car windows, spray painting her face, picking up eggs from boiling water, and hanging out with the mayor from Deadwood.

Of course the greatest thing about dating a replicant is that you never have to worry about entering into a long-term relationship.

6. Princess Aura from the film Flash Gordon
“Klytus, I'm bored. What play thing can you offer me today?”

Hot damn lets get it on with evil! If there was ever a woman that you wouldn’t want to bring home to mother then Aura is it. Dirty, hot, and nasty; Aura uses men like a black widow uses her mates. Those come hither thighs will have you so hypnotized that you never see the dagger she’s holding behind her back. Aura is the ultimate bad girl, and her body is just another weapon in the fight to get what she wants. Not even her father is immune to her charms and watching her slink around Daddy-O can give you a case of the creeps high up on the Oedipus scale.

And speaking of Dad, wouldn’t he be like the worst father-in-law ever? You’d never be able to live up to expectations. No matter what job you managed to snag, Ming would always be asking things like “What planet did you enslave today?”

5. Xev Bellringer from the TV series Lexx
“My sex organ has NEVER functioned, so we both have a lot of catching up to do!”

There’s nothing like a babe who has been reconstituted from green slime to really get the old blood pumping. Throw in the fact that she’s an ex love slave and has some lizard DNA and we’ve really got the makings of an interesting Saturday night. Another big plus is that she seems to enjoy taking off her clothes at any opportunity. Xev’s biggest downfall is that she’s in love with a some dead goth guy but there’s always the chance that he might degenerate into dust at any given moment.

I would suggest making sure your first date with Xev is on a planet since hygiene on the ship (snake shower heads and lapping tongues in the toilet) make for some uncomfortable post-coital moments.

4. Æon Flux from the animated TV series Æon Flux
“Ready for the action now, danger boy?”

And no, I’m not talking about that cheeseball movie with that serial killer in it. I’m talking about the REAL Æon; the ass-kicking, name-taking, supervixen from MTV. Æon’s the perfect chick for the guy who’s looking for a one-night stand with little complications. This is one girl who’s not going to wonder why you didn’t call her the next day. Of course Æon has a few little quirks that may be a little daunting to the average guy…poison teeth, nanobots for buddies, a spine whose consistency resembles grape jelly, and a tendency to die a lot. But there’s nothing that true lust can’t overcome!

Another downside is that she’s still getting over her old boyfriend Trevor and tends to go all emotional when his name is brought up. Since going emotional for Æon involves 2 machine guns set on autofire it’s for the best if you keep talk of past lovers to a minimum.

3. Number 6 from the TV series Battlestar Galactica
“… I've been having sex with a Cylon for the past two years now."

Another android? Maybe you’re right; I just may have some sort of mechanical fetish going on deep in my subconscious. Or maybe I just like chicks with an off button.

Six though, is in another league entirely from the usual metal headed hotness I’ve talked about before. She’s an android with an agenda, hell bent on erasing out the human race before Edward James Olmos can spread that skin condition of his through out the rest of the galaxy.

Best of all, she comes in multiple versions, just like Ben and Jerry’s. Tired of the vixen model? Why not trade down to the withdrawn and needy type…just remember not to give her a nuclear weapon. Six’s have multiple advantages over normal girls such as enhanced strength, see through clothes, and the ability to only show the side of their boobs. Their spines glow when they’re in the mood so there’s no more wondering when your special ladyfriend is ready to give her microprocessor a good shakedown.

2. Altaira from the film Forbidden Planet
“What’s a bathing suit?”

There’s something about the innocence of a girl who’s never seen another male besides her Daddy to really get the mind to thinking evil thoughts. Combine that with a cute face, short skirts and a robot that can mix drinks and we’ve got the makings of a beautiful relationship. Of course there’s a pesky problem of an invisible monster who’s killing all your friends but that’s just a minor inconvenience. There are bigger things for us to worry about, like where the swimming pool is!

All in all the planet of Altair IV could be a great place to settle down with a little space kitten if it wasn’t for that monster, an overbearing Dad, and everybody talking about some Shakespeare play that’s suppose to be going on. My advice would be to steal the government’s UFO and hightail it back to Earth. With a girl this naive you can probably talk her into anything.

1. Space Vampire Girl from the film Lifeforce
“Don't worry. A naked girl is not going to get out of this complex.”

My number one pick is a no-brainer. How can you go wrong with a science fiction movie in which the female lead spends the entire time walking around with no clothes on?

But you see, it’s very important to the plot for her to walk around naked cause she’s a space vampire and space vampires don’t have any modesty and….er, heck I don’t know, love to show off their perky breasts or something. This movie is a lot like Species except the Space Vampire is a lot hotter and she stands around naked a lot more of the time.

There’s some sort of a plot about a vampire epidemic and shriveled up corpses but you’ll be so hypnotized by those boobies that you could care less. Even when she’s killing someone you’re just staring at her and wondering what genius wrote this script up. It’s pure movie magic I tell ya!

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